Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
