Kareoke will never be a sober sport
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
