My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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