thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
