ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
My life is pants optional.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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