Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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