I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Randomize