And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I woke up under a house in Key West
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
