how do flat chested girls get laid?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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