Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
