I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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