I CAN MOONWALK!
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
