I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize