She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
