So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
