ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Randomize
