20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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