ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I enjoy the company of your penis
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
