oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
