Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
