at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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