And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
you would pick up someone in the library
operation have a gay friend backfired
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
