Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Terrible idea I love it
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
