she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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