My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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