flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
