She announced her abortion via fbk
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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