im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize