please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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