if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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