Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
