I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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