My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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