Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize