Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
