i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He felt like a one man threesome
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
