How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
