Me too!
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Randomize