i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
