I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
