So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You can't just leave with hair like that
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Randomize
