I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
