He is an equal opportunity slut.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize