he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
