What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
