I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
