There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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