don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
