I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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