i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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