he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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