Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize