3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
