Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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