I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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