Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Randomize
