I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
