Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
