guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
