The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
