Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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