East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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