My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
