and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
