Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
