i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
