Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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