i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
His hands were made for my vagina.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize