You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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