I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
