i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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