am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
